I'm always perplexed by the show “Hell's Kitchen”. As far as reality-shows go, I think it's quite entertaining, but what confuses me is the restaurant “Hell's Kitchen” within the show itself. Before the dinner service, you get footage of lambourghinis, limosines, and other expensive vehicles pulling up to the restaurant's valet. EVERY dinner service is a full house comprised of customers that look quite rich and well-off– basically, people with the means to eat wherever the hell they want. WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY CONTINUE TO EAT THERE?! Do they not understand what this show is about? 9 years it's been on television and it's no secret what these patrons are to expect for their dining experience.
Near the outskirts of La Brea Avenue- one of the more sheik and classy dwellings of Los Angeles- Lester Cummings and his wife Mandy Cummings decide where they wish to dine for the night. Being co-marital owners of the city's most successful Pool and Hot Tub retail outlet “Wet Cummings”, money and reservation times are no object or hinderance to them at all. The city's culinary offerings are their oyster.
Mandy: Lester dear, what ever shall we eat for dinner tonight? I'm famished.
Lester: Well, I've been really craving a Beef Wellington.
Mandy: Oh! Why don't we dine at The Royce, I hear their chef is renowned!
Lester: No. I don't want my food cooked by a chef.
Mandy: … oh, well who would you like it cooked by then?
Lester: I want my food cooked by an ex-convict or preferably a crack addicted single teen mother. The key is that they have no culinary experience at all.
Mandy: Oh, does someone like that cook a beef wellington particularly well?
Lester: No, the idea is that we wait for about an hour before our order finally arrives, and then, we'll see it is so poorly cooked that we'll have to send it back.
Mandy: Okay. So, we're looking for somewhere with good service then?
Lester: No. When I send my order back and complain about the wellington, I want to be yelled at by the owner… REALLY yelled at… Humiliated even.. Preferably by someone with a crass english accent who's not afraid to swear around children.
Mandy: Decor important to you?
Lester: I'm glad you asked. I want the front of the restaurant to feel inviting. I'm thinking; ominous red glowing lights. Oh, and I want bursts of flames that spontaneously combust right at the door's entrance, thus, making the door both the fire exit and fire hazard at the same time.
There is a moment of silence between the two before they're both struck by the same idea. They look into each other's eyes and simultaneously yell in a fit of joy:
Mandy/Lester: HELL'S KITCHEN!