The Magic School Bus

It's another day at Blair Wood Elementary and there's a nervous vibe in the air; partially because mid-term report cards are just around the corner, but mainly, because the students are afraid of going on another field trip that will likely kill them all.

“It's 5 minutes after 9, maybe she's sick today?” Phoebe points out the time to Gregory in hope that she's right, “She's never late, and right now, she's definitely late.”

“Or AM I?”

Startled, the entire class jumps in their seats when they see Ms. Frizzle standing right behind them, as if she were there the entire time. “Good morning Ms. Frizzle,” the class greets her through the teeth of their forced smiles.

“I hope everyone enjoyed yesterdays trip to the Jurassic period!”, she looks at Molly, “What was your favorite part of the trip?”

The question prompts Molly to have a nervous flash back of the day's terrifying events. She tries to contain her shaking as memories of screaming, running, and scrambling for their lives race through her head. Tyrannosaurus to her left, Velocy Raptor to her right, they were running, always running… and of course, what happened to Carlos… oh the humanity…. “CARLOOOOOS!!!”

Molly begins to weep into her hands.

“Oh Molly, it sounds like you didn't quite enjoy yourself. And I believe we all agreed to NEVER mention Carlos ever again. You're not being a debby-downer are you? You know how I feel about debby-downers.” Ms. Frizzle says with a piercing look in her eye.

Molly immediately wipes her tears and throws a smile back on her face, “oh no no Ms. Frizzle! These are tears of…. Tears of joy! Ha ha.” If the students learned anything this year, it was to NOT upset Ms. Frizzle, and nothing upsets Ms. Frizzle more than a lack of enthusiasm.

“Then tell me Molly, if you really had that much fun, what was your favorite part?”

Molly pauses for a moment, “Uhhh…. The screaming?”

Ms. Frizzle glares at Molly in silence for an entire minute, then nods her head in approval, “Very good.” The class exhales in relief.

A smile returns to Ms. Frizzles face, “Now class, we've seen dinosaurs, tornadoes, shrunk ourselves as prey to insect wildlife; the list goes on. But there is one place we haven't yet gone, and if anyone guesses correctly, we might just be in for a treat! I'll give you all a hint, it's the opposite of 'Inner Space' ”

Ralph raises his hand, “Outer Space?”

Ms. Frizzles clasps her hands together, “You're right!”

The entire class glares angrily at Ralph. Mumbles of whispered “shut the fuck up Ralph” echoes through the room. Ralph apologetically shrinks into his seat, but it's too late. Ms. Frizzle has already begun to mumble dark verses of old latin. Her eyes roll to the back of her head and the room begins to go dark as she ceremoniously uses her magic to summon the School Bus.

The entire class trembles in there seats, but this time, Gregory stands up. “No! Nuh uh! Nope! Not gonna happen. I'm not going into space!”

Ms. Frizzle stops her chanting and gives her attention to Gregory, “Now now Gregory, where did our enthusiasm for science go?”

“Okay bitch, first of all, I'm going to say it! It has to be said,” Gregory ignores the fearful looks given from his classmates, “My 'ENTHUSIASM' for science died when I found out that magic exists! Freakin magic! Who cares how the hell 'the water cycle' works if I know a freakin MAGICAL SCHOOL BUS exists! Why aren’t we trying to learn more about the bus?!”

“Oh Gregory, I suggest you..”

“Not done yet bitch!” Gregory cuts her off, “And it's clear to me that you've known and used this magic for quite some time. So when, may I ask, were you going to try and use it to better the world?! Which brings me to my next question! Time Travel obviously exists because I was almost eaten twice by a freakin dinosaur! Why don't we go back in time and give someone the cure for small pox before the outbreak? Why don't we go back and throw some cold water on Hitler's parents before they decide to have sex?!”

Gregory takes a breath… and continues, “And what ever happened to the 'permission note'? It's school policy to get permission from the parents for field trips, ESPECIALLY when the field trip is some crazy ass death adventure! You think Carlos's parents would have signed a permission slip for him to get his di..”

Ralph interrupts, “We're not suppose to talk about what happened to Carl…”

“Shut the fuck up Ralph!”

Throughout Gregory's entire rant, Ms. Frizzle stands in place with an eerie demeanor, that is, until she points her finger at Ralph and yells, “FACTUS PECUS DE FRIGIDUS SANGUIS!”

The transformation was almost instant, and if you weren't paying attention, you'd think he disappeared. But he was there. On the floor. As a lizard.

Ms. Frizzle walks over and picks Gregory up from the floor, “I shall call you…. Liz!”

 

 

THE RING

“You were warned. You watched the video. You will die.” – In the darkness, Roland sits in the solace of his living room as the words resonate through his mind. It has been a week since he decided to watch the video; 6 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes since he received the call. He tries to tell himself that it was only a stupid urban legend that just happened to be popularized by a movie; a movie for heaven's sake! But telling himself that wasn't enough to shake the unmistakable feeling that something dire was about to happen; a curse that had loomed over him for days now.

The last three seconds ticked away on his watch, and then it came. The sudden appearance of static on the television would normally have startled him if he hadn't already expected it. A flash of static, a ring of light, and there she was. Time was up…

_______________________

“Sweet heart, could you please point to the man that attacked you? Don't be afraid.”

She slowly nods her head at the Judge and lifts her finger towards the accused; Roland. A gasp of disapproval fills the courtroom.

With a disheartened sob, she quietly whispers, “I don't know why he attacked me like that. I did nothing to the man.”

“Oh! Oh hell no! That's how it went down to you?! That's how you see it?!” Roland couldn't restrain his outburst.

“Mr. Daines! You have been warned already! One more outburst and I will have just cause to hold you in contempt! But personally, I hope you do, just so I have more reason to throw a dirt bag like you in jail!” With a strike of his gavel, he looks back toward the young girl and urges her on, “So after he struck you in the face and kicked your ribs while you were down on the floor, you mentioned that he repeatedly asked you a question? What was that question?”

“Yes sir, he…” her lip begins to tremble, “he asked me how… how I…”

“You can do it, tell us sweet heart.”

“He asked me 'how I like them apples' ”

Another gasp of disapproval fills the courtroom. Roland shoots up from his seat again, “I was in danger! I said that in the heat of the moment! I don't even know what that means! I saw it in a movie damn it!”

“Mr. Daines, seeing that you are incapable of following orders or maintaining the simple conduct of being a decent human being, you might as well take the stand and tell us yourself why you deserve to be put away.”

Roland quickly takes the seat next to the judge and faces the courtroom pleading, “I don't even know why I have to explain myself again, but like I said, my television turned on by itself, and that little girl came out of the box and attacked me!” he reiterates with urgency, “SHE CAME OUT OF THE FREAKIN TV!”

A shout comes from the back of the audience, “So what!? I once saw a man cut a woman in half!”

Another shout, “You tell him Miguel!”

“Damn straight! And then he put her back together!”

“Tell em' who it was Miguel!”

“Criss Angel son! That ma'facka cray!” At that, the courtroom erupts in wild applause.

It takes at least 7 strikes of the gavel for the Judge to regain order again, “You were saying, she attacked you? Tell us Mr. Daines, how did this young lady attack you?”

Roland hesitates for a second, “Well, she didn't so much attack me as she walked… she walked slowly towards me.”

“She walked towards you, and that prompted you to punch her in the face?”

“Well it sounds bad if you put it that way! But look at her! She has long black hair! It was covering most of her face! And…” he hesitates, “well, she's Japanese.”

Another gasp of disapproval is then followed by Miguel's booming voice over the room, “Aww hells no! That's racist! This a straight up cracka ass cracka!”

“Tell 'em Miguel! Tell it like it is!”

“We didn't land on Plymouth rock! Plymouth rock landed on us!” And at that, another eruption of wild applause overtakes the room.

This time, the Judge allows the frenzy to continue until it naturally dissipates on it's own.

“Mr. Roland Daines, the overwhelming evidence against you finds you guilty of 3 charges of assault. On behalf of the State of Texas, I sentence you to death!”

Nothing about the past 2 weeks seemed real to Roland, yet it was happening. Two guards escorts him by each arm out of the courtroom. As they approach the door, the guards tighten their grip as both the little girl and Roland squeezes through the exit. As Roland comes within ear shot, she says to him, “I told you. I told you that you'd die!” She giggles to herself.

“For the love of… Did anyone hear that!?”

_______________________________

EPILOGUE

Judge: Actually. Ya, I heard that (the judge is standing right behind the two).

Miguel: I heard that too! (he shouts from across the room)

Little Girl: Uhhh… You all heard that?

Miguel: Bitch, you yelled that shit out loud.