10 Signs that show you have too much “All You Can Eat Sushi”

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All-You-Can-Eat-Sushi is not a meal, it's a privilege. It's that guilty pleasure we all like to do, and we do it knowing we have the entire Pacific Ocean separating us from a few thousand japanese sushi chefs that would murder us all if they knew we were committing these atrocities. Sushi is a delicacy, it’s meant to be eaten and savoured in small morsels, but North America “DON'T DO MORSELS”. Morsels get dun' don't do done… did.. Silence! You think this is a game!? This ain't a game son! It's easy, so easy for this to all get out of hand. One night, you're saying to yourself, “what?! A pizza AND sushi in one?! that sounds fun!”… and next thing you know, your wife's left you, you're wanted by the FBI for copyright infringement, and you're diagnosed with shingles. I don't know how that all came from over doing all-you-can-eat-sushi, but don't let it be you! Read these tell-tale signs to know if you eat too much AYCES!

1) You resist ordering Miso Soup and/or Salad because you know that'll just take up precious space in your stomach.

2) When the waiter comes, you don't order “just a little now” in hopes that you can “conveniently” order something later. You spend AT LEAST 10 minutes of his time ordering everything you want and everything you THINK you'll want because you know you'll never see him again for the rest of the night… Unless he brings you food that belongs to another table.

3) If the waiter accidentally brings you food that belongs to another table, you eat from the plate as quickly as possible. You know you have a small window of opportunity before the waiter realizes his mistake and takes the plate away. Therefore, you get to sample someone else's food without committing to the entire plate.

4) When the bill comes, you're the one that tells everyone not to leave a tip because you KNOW that the gratuity is already included in the bill. Then some a-hole will for sure double check and say “i don't see where they added the tip..” Without even glancing at the bill, you lean back and say “look under the HST… the initials SC stands for service charge.”

5) You know ordering fish in the form of Hand-rolls and maki is the equivalent to flushing your money away. Why fill up on all that rice? You are conditioned to go for it's pure source…. Sashimi.

6) You start ordering from the “cooked” menu. You've long passed the time where you only order hoards of raw fish to get your money's worth. You're sick of sushi now… It's time to explore what else Japan has to offer.

7) You don't save room for “dessert” because you know dessert is just a dismal selection of freezer burned green tea, vanilla, or strawberry ice cream. You might be enticed by a “pudding” option, but you've been burned enough times with artificial jello mix to know to ask the waiter if the “pudding” is made with real fruit and carnation milk.

8) If you want to order more food, you throw all “restaurant etiquette” for calling a waiter out the window. You raise your hand, call out loud, and possibly snap your fingers. Rookies don't understand that AYCES waiters are professionals at avoiding eye contact.

9) If the food looks off color, you eat it anyways. Health and safety regulations don't exist here. Your standard for “off colour” is much more tolerant than someone who is use to ordering A-La-Carte. Besides, you eat it so often, your stomach has already developed a natural immunity to almost all bacteria colonies found in bad fish.

10) When your table has hit their limit and can't finish all the food on the table, you know all the best places to hide the food so that you won't be charged for the leftovers.

-Under the wax paper of the wicker basket if you ordered tempura.

-In the tea pot.

-chewing up left overs into a paste and spitting it into balled up tissue paper.

– Stack the plates in an attempt to “tidy” the “empty” plates but really just smooshing the food flat with each plate on top of the other.

-eating just the fish on the sushi and then scattering the left over rice here and there to give it the appearance you're just a messy eater.

-stuffing your cheeks with what you can and make repeated trips to the washroom (this is more of a desperation move, and is not as common).

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