Bringing Back the “Mama” Jokes: Mama Jokes 2.0

What was not to like about making fun of someone's mother? It was the great equalizer. You can be arguing with anyone, anytime, in any prominent position of authority, and a simple mother joke can cut into their heart like Katniss (an arrow to the heart while participating in the Hunger Games). Of course, the way of the mother joke has dwindled. All the good ones make references to products and characters that are obsolete (i.e. skittles, scratch and sniff stickers, cordless telephones, etc.). Here are some new and relevant mother jokes I have created for your perusal and later use:

 

1) Your mother's so fat, she inspired Apple to invent the “panoramic” camera mode for the iPhone 5.

2) Your mother smells so bad, when she was blind folded and asked what a room sprayed with 'Febreeze' smelled like, she answered, “the moisture in my fat folds”. When the room was re-sprayed and had other volunteers smell the room, they all answered, “the lingering odour of your mother's fat folds.”

3) Your mother is so fat, she'd personally volunteer herself for the Hunger Games just so she can have an excuse to eat an island full of children.

4) Your Mother's so fat, she has to stop by 2 places for dessert. First: Wendy's for a “Baconator” Second: Cold Stone Creamery, so they can fold a Baconator into an order of vanilla ice cream… on a waffle cone.

5) Your mother's teeth are so disheveled, she looks like Bane from 'the Dark Knight Rises'… (I know what you're thinking, “with the mask?”, no, without the mask, because his face was mangled in prison).

6) There are only two sounds that make a wizard shudder in disgust, the pronunciation of the name “Voldemort”, and the sound of your mother eating a Double Down from KFC.

Okay, that's all I got…. For now… Feel free to write your own in the comment box!

 

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2 thoughts on “Bringing Back the “Mama” Jokes: Mama Jokes 2.0

  1. Your mama ( cuz when you start getting in the groove of mother jokes as The Yuster has begun, you get your SWAG going and “mother” turns into “mama”) izz (continuing with the swag) so fat if nasa were to strap her into a full-pressure suit it would take a team of engineers to assemble this custom made XXXXL suit and they would have to strap her up with rockets to launch her up there cuz no helium filled balloon and space pod izz goin to get her up there!!!! Andddd they would have to fabricate a XXXXL parachute to stop her from creating a dent in the earths surface AND that parachute would block out the sun until she lands on earth again!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? That actually happened and that meteorte that landed in Russia wasnt really a meteorite…. IT WAS YOUR MAMA! (It didnt block out the sun, in fact, nasa scientists figured out a way to reflect the suns light off of her XXXXL parachute rather than block the suns light out- thats why it looked like a flash of light entering the atmosphere!!) And thats why we now have yet another hole in the o-zone layerrrr WOOOO -that was a long one – shouldve warned you

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