Robin Rises

“I have taught you everything I know and have left you with the skill to learn everything I don't. Today is your day, and, the demise of many who do not share our common view of justice.”

Dick Grayson stands before Bruce Wayne as the subtle sound of fluttering wings fill the dark cave in a ceremonious melody. “Today, I deem you worthy. Worthy to fight along my side as we, a team, strike fear into the hearts of the most heinous, the most cruel and vile, the most dangerous criminals in Gotham City. Today… You become a man.”

“But Mr. Wayne, I am only 8 years old. Even the jewish wait 'till… ”

“8 years old when you are merely Dick Grayson; A man when you dawn your cape and cowl to fight in the name of justice!”

Dick's eyes brighten with excitement, “No way! You got me a costume!?”

“I sure did,” Bruce produces a stern look on his face, “Just as my cape and cowl conceal my identity and strike fear into the hearts of criminals, yours shall serve the same purpose. Stealth, concealment, fear, justice… Behold!” Bruce tears away the satin sheet unveiling the bright orange, forest greens, and neon yellows of Dick's new fatigues.

Dick is momentarily stunned by what he sees, “It's… It's very bright.”

“What is it Dick? You don't like it?”

“No. Nooo… It's just that,” he thinks carefully of what to say, “It's not that I don't like it… It's just that you've always taught me to stay out of sight, fight in the shadows, and then surprise the enemy when they least expect it. I just don't see how I would be able to remain as stealthy…”

Bruce cuts him off, “And surprised they shall be! Just put yourself in the enemy's shoes. Imagine your yellow cape fluttering in the wind as your smooth bare legs pound the ground towards them. They won't be able to take their sights off you.”

“Well, it's hard to put myself in someone else's shoes if I'm wearing those… elf shoes.”

“Ha! Fantastic aren't they?!”

Dick inspects the shoes further and decides not to mention the small strands of yarn hanging from the tips of each shoe- likely where bells had originally been stitched onto. Then again, judging by the consistency of the costume, Dick is surprised Wayne didn't leave the bells on.

Dick has a small revelation, “This costume is almost like, you want me to be a target… Wait, am I suppose to be your diversion?!”

“And a fine diversion you'll be! But with all eyes on you, don't forget the most important rule: Conceal your identity. Here.” Bruce hands Dick a thin green bandana.

“But… This won't conceal my identity at all! And you said! You said that if the villains were to find my identity, everyone I know will be endangered!”

Bruce shakes his head and laughs, “Haha! Don't be silly! Everyone you know is dead! Remember the trapeze incident?”

“….Yes I remember…”

“Good! Now onto the next matter of importance! Your name!”

A momentary look of excitement returns to Dick's face. Bruce proceeds, “I recall the first day I found this cave; the fear. Oh, the exhilaration of fear I felt as that demon rodent flew towards me. Ears pointed, wings flapping, teeth glistening with infectious disease; I knew I wanted all those I hated to feel the same fear in which that bat inspired in myself. Henceforth, I am Batman. You Dick, you shall also be named after a winged beast. A flying dynamo of truth and fury. You shall be named, ROBIN!”

“…like Robin Hood?”

“No. The bird.”

“…”

“You shall rewrite the history of the Graysons and fly! Fly with glory!.. You know, because the Grayson's don't fly very well. Remember Dick? Remember the trapeze accident?”

“… Yes… I remember…”

“Splendid! Now, your first mission,” The serious look returns onto Bruce's face, “Bane.”

Robin's jaw momentarily drops, “Ya. I guess together, we'll get him.”

“Oh no no. I won't be coming with you. My back still isn't ready for that kind of rematch. But I have faith in you! Just remember to be careful, the last time I fought Bane… Well…. He broke my back. So, keep your guard up because he's REALLY good at breaking backs! I mean, he just picked me up and snapped me like a twig. So in summary, he's really good at breaking backs, and you… well… you're only 8 years old.”

“But you said I was a man today…”

“Okay! Off you go! Here, take the bat vespa! Good luck!”

_______________________________

“I have taught you everything I know and have left you with the skill to learn everything I don't. Today is your day, and, the demise of many who do not share our common view of justice.”

Tim Drake stands before Bruce Wayne as the subtle sound of fluttering wings fill the dark cave in a ceremonious melody. “Today, I deem you worthy..”

 

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10 Signs that show you have too much “All You Can Eat Sushi”

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All-You-Can-Eat-Sushi is not a meal, it's a privilege. It's that guilty pleasure we all like to do, and we do it knowing we have the entire Pacific Ocean separating us from a few thousand japanese sushi chefs that would murder us all if they knew we were committing these atrocities. Sushi is a delicacy, it’s meant to be eaten and savoured in small morsels, but North America “DON'T DO MORSELS”. Morsels get dun' don't do done… did.. Silence! You think this is a game!? This ain't a game son! It's easy, so easy for this to all get out of hand. One night, you're saying to yourself, “what?! A pizza AND sushi in one?! that sounds fun!”… and next thing you know, your wife's left you, you're wanted by the FBI for copyright infringement, and you're diagnosed with shingles. I don't know how that all came from over doing all-you-can-eat-sushi, but don't let it be you! Read these tell-tale signs to know if you eat too much AYCES!

1) You resist ordering Miso Soup and/or Salad because you know that'll just take up precious space in your stomach.

2) When the waiter comes, you don't order “just a little now” in hopes that you can “conveniently” order something later. You spend AT LEAST 10 minutes of his time ordering everything you want and everything you THINK you'll want because you know you'll never see him again for the rest of the night… Unless he brings you food that belongs to another table.

3) If the waiter accidentally brings you food that belongs to another table, you eat from the plate as quickly as possible. You know you have a small window of opportunity before the waiter realizes his mistake and takes the plate away. Therefore, you get to sample someone else's food without committing to the entire plate.

4) When the bill comes, you're the one that tells everyone not to leave a tip because you KNOW that the gratuity is already included in the bill. Then some a-hole will for sure double check and say “i don't see where they added the tip..” Without even glancing at the bill, you lean back and say “look under the HST… the initials SC stands for service charge.”

5) You know ordering fish in the form of Hand-rolls and maki is the equivalent to flushing your money away. Why fill up on all that rice? You are conditioned to go for it's pure source…. Sashimi.

6) You start ordering from the “cooked” menu. You've long passed the time where you only order hoards of raw fish to get your money's worth. You're sick of sushi now… It's time to explore what else Japan has to offer.

7) You don't save room for “dessert” because you know dessert is just a dismal selection of freezer burned green tea, vanilla, or strawberry ice cream. You might be enticed by a “pudding” option, but you've been burned enough times with artificial jello mix to know to ask the waiter if the “pudding” is made with real fruit and carnation milk.

8) If you want to order more food, you throw all “restaurant etiquette” for calling a waiter out the window. You raise your hand, call out loud, and possibly snap your fingers. Rookies don't understand that AYCES waiters are professionals at avoiding eye contact.

9) If the food looks off color, you eat it anyways. Health and safety regulations don't exist here. Your standard for “off colour” is much more tolerant than someone who is use to ordering A-La-Carte. Besides, you eat it so often, your stomach has already developed a natural immunity to almost all bacteria colonies found in bad fish.

10) When your table has hit their limit and can't finish all the food on the table, you know all the best places to hide the food so that you won't be charged for the leftovers.

-Under the wax paper of the wicker basket if you ordered tempura.

-In the tea pot.

-chewing up left overs into a paste and spitting it into balled up tissue paper.

– Stack the plates in an attempt to “tidy” the “empty” plates but really just smooshing the food flat with each plate on top of the other.

-eating just the fish on the sushi and then scattering the left over rice here and there to give it the appearance you're just a messy eater.

-stuffing your cheeks with what you can and make repeated trips to the washroom (this is more of a desperation move, and is not as common).

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